I hope you’re doing well, but if you’re not…know you’re not alone. This time of year is often when lots of hard feelings come up for many, many people. This year it seems those feelings are only exacerbated by the election. Whether you’re happy, relieved, sad, angry ect. about the results it seems no one is safe from the effects on our relationships.
Being a therapist, I sit in a unique position of serving those on both sides of the isle while (necessarily) remaining completely neutral. If there’s one thing I want you to carry with you in this season of (possibly) tense holidays it’s this: It’s hard to hate people up close.
It’s been my experience that when people disagree on politics (especially in recent years) they tend to unfollow on social media, to call off family holidays, to block phone numbers of people they disagree with, ect. All of this breeds contempt and resentment in relationships but WHAT IF instead we leaned in?
We aren’t in relationships with people because of their political preferences or if that’s how it started it’s not what keeps us in those relationships. We are in relationship with people for so much more than that so lean in.
If you don’t want to lean in to political differences lean into the things you like about them. Whenever I end up with clients that I find challenging to meet with I challenge myself to find 2 things in every session that I like about them. Do you know that over the 10+ years I’ve been doing this, many of those very clients end up becoming some of my favorites?!
If you do want to lean in to political differences make sure you follow God’s lead:
Proverbs 18:13
“A person who answers without listening is foolish and disgraceful”
Philippians 2:4-5
“Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had”
1 Corinthians 9:19-22
Paul understood the principle of “seek first to understand, then to be understood”
Listen to those you disagree with. Seek to understand where they’re coming from, what their concerns are and why they may feel that way. Prioritize this over “fixing the problem”, “teaching them” or “sharing my side” and you will get MUCH further than you imagine.
If there’s one thing that rings out consistently true across all people I’ve had the pleasure of walking with – People want to be known and understood first and foremost. When we feel that we are known and understood we can be our real and whole selves with people. Sometimes that means to start, we have to learn how to know others better.
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Disclaimer: While Britt is a licensed therapist this post is for informational purposes only and may not be the best fit for you and your personal situation. It shall not be construed as medical advice. The information and education provided here is not intended or implied to supplement or replace professional medical treatment, advice, and/or diagnosis. Always check with your own physician or medical professional before trying or implementing any information read here.